Article by:
Dorcas Curry
I share this journey now because of this time of year. Winter months are here and often a season when depression and sadness can occur. This type of depression is called Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). SAD is a type of depression related to changes in seasons, typically starting in the fall into the winter months. Sharing this journey of the parents of Camden and Jackson may help people through difficult situations. This journey is for all mommies who are forgotten on Mother's Day.
Dr. Tiffany Green married Michael Green in 2018 and became a bonus mom. She explains, “That ‘Dr. Tiffany Green’ journey… a Bachelor’s in English and a Master’s in Education. Starting my doctorate, I thought ‘yes, this is something I can do.’ There were many times I wanted to quit, but I will pull people along to hold me accountable.”
Healthwise, Green had her challenges. In 2003, she discovers she had fibroids. She had a myomectomy in 2010 to remove them, which led to scarred tissue needing to be removed by a D&C procedure in 2012. Tiffany says, “I learned, it would be difficult to conceive.”
Shortly after marriage she became pregnant in 2019. She said, “The first trimester was a breeze.” As the second trimester began, she started feeling pain. “I had an ultrasound, and everything looked fine.” On Tuesday morning, February 2020, around 3 a.m., her water broke. “I was rushed to emergency and realize that my baby,” whom they named Camden, “was not going to be OK.” For 14 hours she struggled and prayed, what may have been a foolish prayer to some, for the fluid to return into her cervix. That afternoon at 4:20 p.m. Camden was born. Tiffany says, “God wanted him back, and we were OK with that.”
After educating herself on how to naturally dissolve fibroids, she became pregnant again in August 2020. The first trimester, again, was fine. Then she states, “In November I started having pain. My specialist told me that I had started dilating and put me on bedrest. My doctor attempted an abdominal cerclage, and that was the moment that I discovered that I had pretty much no cervix; fibroids weren’t the problem.”
From 2003 to 2020, she had warnings about having difficulty conceiving from various doctors. She knew was that she had fibroids, but no diagnosis of a small cervix. She says, “No one said, your cervix is really weak. That’s why I could not hold my babies, it wasn’t not strong enough.”
She feels that someone should have known, especially after losing Camden. Nothing has changed between the two pregnancies. She even toyed with the idea of would the tables have been turned if she were not an African-American woman. All she knew was, she was not given the information necessary for life.
During her second trimester, November 28, 2020, Jackson was born. Both Camden and Jackson were healthy with strong heartbeats, until the moment her water broke. Yet, in the same labor room, they both came into this world still born. Camden was 15 weeks and Jackson was 17 weeks.
Later she learned her condition was called Cervical Insufficiency. She said, “There was no doctor in Tennessee that specialized in what I needed, which was a Robotic Transabdominal Cerclage.” During this procedure, doctors tie a knot at the end of the cervix to hold it in place during pregnancy, significantly decrease chances of preterm births. In March of 2021, they traveled to Indianapolis for the procedure, which was a success.
This was a difficult journey. Tiffany said, “What I found, especially with people that believe in God, is the first thing they say is, God doesn’t make mistakes. That is a horrible thing to say. As a believer, and yes, I believe that, but think about what that says. To the person going through it, it means God meant for this to happen and wanted to take your child away. Just one of those things that I say, don’t say anything at all.”
Often on Mother's Day, women that have had the challenges of miscarriages are forgotten. Tiffany was asked if she thinks about her boys on Mother’s Day “Yes, every single day.” To break the miscarriage silence, Green advises, “If you are comfortable, talk; being verbal helps. The good time to talk about it is not when somebody else is going through it, because it shifts the focus to you.” She says naming your baby helps and journaling has also been part of her therapy.
Green is open to talk with others. One platform is https://butterflyconversations.com with links to Facebook, YouTube, and Instagram. She talks about her infertility journey, mindfulness, and mental wellness.
For her full interview visit YouTube, “Forgotten on Mother's Day with Dr. Tiffany Green.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Dorcas Curry is a motivational speaker, author and play writer and director of her play-acting group New Birth Player. She is the author of a motivational book titled: “Even in The Dark I Surrender,” and a fun to read book, “You Know They Say” a collection of old wives’ tales. She has a CD titled “Living Life to the Fullest.” As a motivational speaker some of her major workshop titles are, “Living Life to the Fullest,” “Turning Hurt into Halos and Scars into Stars,” “Divorce Recovery,” “Prayer Recovery” and several women inspirational programs.
Curry is also a professionally trained Career Coach, working to help individuals find their best career paths and working to help employers find the best employees. She teaches “Quality Customer Service” and specializes in helping business owners bring top quality customer service to their customers and clients.